It is virtually impossible not to argue with your ex when you are co-parenting kids. However, it is very crucial that you try to see the bigger picture and focus on doing what is in your children’s best interest and not your pride.
Below are specific types of co-parenting conflicts and how you should deal with them in the event that they happen to you.
Arguing About Child Visitation or Contact
Try to remember that it is plain reasonable for you and your ex to spend about the same amount of time with your children after separating or divorcing as you did prior to your separation of divorce. Additionally, keep in mind that time in school is not considered time with your children. So, to avoid arguments, with help from a solicitor in Townsville experienced in family law, make a parenting plan that you should revisit and update every year.
Arguing About Maintenance
Most parents think that maintenance is something that is set and fixed. In reality, however, your kids will need extra expenses, as they grow older. Plus, there is the issue of potential adjustments to you and your ex’s income, which should be factored in when changing the maintenance amount. If you and your ex constantly argue over money, it is best that you discuss your options with your solicitor.
Your Children Feel Neglected by Your Ex
If your children’s routine when they are with your former spouse involves them being left alone with your ex’s current partner or a babysitter, or being ignored by your ex, then your kids have a right to feel upset, hurt and neglected.
If you and your ex have a reasonably amicable relationship, just share what your children have shared with you so that your ex will understand and hopefully address the situation. If the problem is due to timing, try to see if you can tweak the visitation or contact time. This way, your kids can spend one-on-one time with your ex.
Your Ex Is Bullying You
Violence, intimidation and threats from your ex should never be acceptable. If you really fear for your safety, speak with your solicitor about obtaining a protection or restraining order. Otherwise, if it is a case of your ex being used to getting whatever he or she wants and always assumes that you will say yes to everything, then you have to reset your boundaries.
This does not mean that you stop talking to your ex and cooperate, but more of taking some time to how you respond to your ex before saying no or yes to something he or she is requesting.
The solutions proposed above involve communicating with your ex, which may not be comfortable for some people, especially if you have a contentious relationship with your former spouse. But remember that you are doing this for mainly for your children. So, you need to have a more open mind and avoid drudging up past conflicts and grudges. Always think of moving forward and being the best parent to your kids.